Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Rejoice Obama Supporters!

Your wildest dreams for a new and glorious world are coming true.

Executive Order Day 1: Free the prisoners!
SUBJECT: EXECUTIVE ORDER -- REVIEW AND DISPOSITION OF INDIVIDUALS DETAINED AT THE GUANTÁNAMO BAY NAVAL BASE AND CLOSURE OF DETENTION FACILITIES

With this order Obama declares Guantanamo Bay be closed in a year. Hooray. When asked by a reporter what would happen to the prisoners there, Obama looked like a deer in the headlights. He turned around and asked his aide, so- what will happen to the prisoners? The answer? Umm.. we’re working on a process.

How gratifying to know that the government is working on a process. Meanwhile, Abdullah Saleh al-Ajmi who was released from Guantanamo Bay just recently carried out a suicide bombing in Mosul, Iraq, killing at least seven people. We can look forward to much more of that type of great news coming in 2010! Yeehaw.


Executive Order Day 1: Treat enemy combatants and terrorists BETTER than the police treat our own citizens. It’s a new day people! Hope-n-Change is on the way.
SUBJECT: EXECUTIVE ORDER -- ENSURING LAWFUL INTERROGATIONS

This order greatly reduces the options US forces have to interrogate enemy combatants and terrorists. We are reduced to only using the Army Field Manual outline for interrogation (designed to be fair and honorable with enemies during times of war that are from a recognized foreign government that would typically be a co-signer of the Geneva Convention). Now, local, state and federal police forces have MORE options and power interrogating US citizens than we have in interrogating terrorists.


Executive order day 3: Your tax money and mine to pay for more abortions. Yay!!!
SUBJECT: MEXICO CITY POLICY AND ASSISTANCE FOR VOLUNTARY POPULATION PLANNING

This executive order reverses US government positions (stated in acts or orders from 1961 through 2003) that domestic and international nongovernmental organizations (like Planned Parenthood) that receive your money and mine (code words Obama uses is “that receive federal funds”) can not use them for abortions (code words Obama uses here are “voluntary family planning”).

He not only frees up our money to pay for abortions IMMEDIATELY, he also directs the Secretay of State (Hillary Clinton) to IMMEDIATELY notify all organizations that get “grants” (our money) that these conditions have changed, and to “start-yer-killing.”

Executive order day 6: Put the final stake in the heart of the auto industry, just in time to then use our money to try to revive them. Take that Michigan!
SUBJECT: STATE OF CALIFORNIA REQUESTS WAIVER UNDER THE CLEAN AIR ACT

This order reverses Bush’s position on not allowing California (and several other states) from imposing their own locally brewed wacko positions on man-made global warming and the impact of automobiles. Now these states will get to set even more of their own stringent requirements on auto makers resulting in increased red tape, manufacturing and retail costs for autos.

The good news? We still have 1,452 more days of this kind of Hope-n-Change to look forward to.

1 comments:

Your Friendly Neighborhood Nerd said...

I'm in complete agreement with you.

I'm really disappointed with his lightning-fast "shock & awe" governance in the first week.

Unbelievably frustrating.