Confirmation, Finally, For John And Revé Walsh

In 2006 I had the distinct pleasure of working for 3 very fine people. Julie and Bill Clark (Julie is the founder and creator of The Baby Einstein Company) and John Walsh.

Together, Julie, Bill and John launched a child safety company named The Safe Side, focused on creating fun and informative safety videos for kids.

During that time I worked closely with Julie and Bill to launch the company, and communication with John was infrequent. Mostly faxes to his home as he doesn’t like to use email.

On one occasion I was able to spend some quality time with John during an extended dinner at the hotel we were all staying at in Washington DC. We were attending the annual National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s Hope Awards benefit and congressional breakfast where John was keynote speaker.

During dinner he shared all about the horrible experience he and his wife Revé went through in the immediate aftermath of Adam’s abduction, the challenges he faced working with local law enforcement, and his certainty, though the police would not confirm it, that Ottis Toole was responsible for the crime. The announcement yesterday by police that the case has been closed and Ottis Toole confirmed as the abductor and killer of Adam is a much needed “period” to the awful chapters to date in their life. John said yesterday though that there’s not really closure. His mission and life’s purpose is still ahead of him.

I will never forget that dinner with John- It was heart wrenching listening to him recount the details (I kept thinking what I would have done had it been one of my four precious kids). Both the pain he showed as he told the story, and the determination that flowed out of him to have the case closed and to do everything he could to prevent another family going through what he went through was very motivating. I left that time together wanting to brandish a sword and chop something or other off every child abuser I could find.

Four Simple Ways to Help Keep Your Child Safe

Last year I was invited to write an article for a parenting website and had a blast doing it. I've written several articles before for magazines and websites, but all have been focused on entertainment or technology- fun and interesting things for sure, but not nearly as meaningful and important to me as the safety and welfare of children. I had forgot about this piece until someone recently posted a comment and it hit my Google Alert again. Thought I would re-publish it here on my blog. Hope you enjoy.

Four Simple Ways to Help Keep Your Child Safe

Like many parents of small children, I taught the time-worn mantra of “don’t talk to strangers” to our kids, resulting in the always confusing “who is a stranger?” conversation that was sure to follow. Adults know perfectly well who a stranger is- it’s someone we don’t know. But to a child, a stranger is all too often someone completely different, with imagined characteristics that surprise many parents. Children asked what a stranger looks like often describe ‘scary people’ that wear dark glasses and clothing, hide around corners and follow them. They say strangers are ‘mean people’ that look like they hurt others. Unfortunately, most people that hurt children look like most anyone. They often appear to be kind and caring men that want to help kids.

A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of connecting with Julie Clark (founder of The Baby Einstein Company) and John Walsh (host of America’s Most Wanted) while working for a large media company. I had decided to branch out and acquire more kids video products, and, through research, discovered their new venture- The Safe Side. After a few months of discussions, I signed them for distribution, and then shortly after that, they hired me to help launch the company. I had fallen in love with their mission to help kids- I jumped at the opportunity.

To me, the teaching presented by Julie and John through their videos is simple, yet revolutionary. It talks to kids, not down at them, and gives them and their parents a whole new vocabulary that allows them to speak the same language. It breaks the world into 3 groups of people- that’s it- no middle ground. There are ‘Safe Side Adults’ (a small group of 2-5 people or so that mom and dad or the primary safe and loving caregiver define), ‘Don’t Knows’ (anyone the child does not know) and ‘Kinda Knows’ (anyone the child ‘kind of knows’ such as the next door neighbor, teacher, coach, your friends, or even an uncle or cousin).

Children really get this- it sinks in fast, especially when presented in the Safe Side videos by the lead character, Safe Side Superchick. I go into greater detail about The Safe Side and the important Hot Tips that help keep children safer in a post I wrote a few months ago on DigitalRichDaily.

It’s relatively easy to keep children safe when they’re younger. For the most part, they’re always in sight and under your watchful eye. It’s when they hit school-age that things get a bit more complex. Suddenly, they are off to birthday parties, spending the night at a friend’s house, or playing at a next-door neighbor’s. This is the time to pull out the parenting manual you were given by the hospital, where you gave birth to your precious child. Mine is titled “Children: Installation and Operating Instructions” and was printed sometime around 1956 or so. Oh- you didn’t get one? Don’t bother. Much of the lessons on safety from our parents is no longer effective. How could our parents know the new or changed threats that are facing us today? One example- who would have thought just 10 years ago that most every American family would invite an always-on Internet connection to be in their home, essentially a 24/7 stranger living down the hall?

If you're investing time and effort to provide a healthy, safe, and encouraging environment for your children- congratulations! Way to go! I figured you are- why else would you be reading a post on a site like GNMParents.com? I’m sure you know, however, that there are families your child will come in contact with that don’t share the same values, or provide the same environment as you do. In fact, sometimes I think these parents and their children are drawn to those that do, sensing a caring and safe world that they aspire to be a part of.

The challenge is keeping your children safe, while also allowing them to learn and grow, by experiencing different environments and people that will add context and understanding to your teaching and instruction. But that must never come at the expense of their safety.

Here are 4 specific things you can do to help keep your kids safe as they start to experience more freedom in their lives, exploring new friendships and environments:

1. Talk to your kids about ‘Don’t Knows.’ Children should understand that ‘Don’t Knows’ can be very important people in their lives. ‘Don’t Knows’ can be fun and exciting people, full of information, fun stories and good times, as long as you (the Safe Side Adult) are around.
‘Don’t Knows’ can even save your child’s life - and it is important your children understand that it’s ok to talk to them in emergencies, when you’re not around. Take for example young Brennan Hawkins, the 11 year-old boy lost in the mountains of Utah during the summer of 2005. When rescuers were near enough to hear and rescue him, shouting through bullhorns, he didn’t respond, because he was taught not to talk to strangers. Using the trusted ‘secret password’ system also helps in these situations.

Another ‘Don’t Know’ that can be a help to a child, when he or she is lost or separated from you, is any mom with kids. Teach your children that, in these situations, they should look for these special ‘Don’t Knows.’ Having your child look for a police officer or a store employee comes in a distant last place to the help the ever-present mom can provide. Security guards can often be mistaken by a child for a police officer (I am sure most of the security guard folks are fine upstanding citizens, but there are many creeps in the profession as well). Anyone can look like they are an employee to a child- but there is no doubt they will easily spot a mom with kids- and who else will latch on to your child with care and concern until they are safely with mom or dad again?

Another reason why moms with kids are preferable over anyone else is this- according to a 2003 US Bureau of Justice Statistics report, 99% of all sex offender arrests are male. The vast majority of the females that are arrested don’t have children. Case closed.

2. Expand on the concept of ‘Kinda Knows.’ Unfortunately, most children that are hurt emotionally or physically are hurt by someone they kind of know, or, in too many cases, know well. It is important that children know not to go anywhere or do anything with ‘Kinda Knows’, just like ‘Don’t Knows’, without their Safe Side Adult’s permission. ‘Kinda Knows’ include absolutely everyone that isn’t in the other two groups. This includes sports coaches, teachers, pastors, their friend’s parents, or your friends.
I coach softball and I am shocked at parents’ willingness to leave their child in my care, dropping them off for practice and leaving them with me for hours. They think they can accurately judge my character and who I am after a few amiable conversations, and seeing me pour my heart into helping these young girls develop new skills and self-confidence. In my case, they happen to be right. I would never even imagine hurting a child, but there are those few sick individuals out there that would, and they count on- depend on- carelessness like this to secure what they need.

3. Let Your ‘Private Investigator’ skills shine. Our first child was invited to a sleepover at a friend’s house across the street when she was 6 years old. We knew the family relatively well- my wife had been to their house a couple of times for neighborhood playgroup gatherings and trusted them. All went well until the next day when our adorable little girl gave us a minute-by-minute recounting of her first sleepover.

She talked about playing, eating pizza, watching a movie, and lots more. Much more. I have to admit I started to zone out after a few minutes, trying to get in some E-mail time while listening. Then I heard a word that didn’t seem to fit in with the whole “what I did on my sleepover” report. I looked up and asked her to repeat the last thing she said. The word was gun. Turns out her friend invited our daughter to join in on a secret mission to sneak upstairs, to look at her daddy’s shiny new gun. That birthed a new tradition in our household- the pre-sleepover or play-date questionnaire:

Do you have any firearms in your house? If yes, are they locked up and completely inaccessible to anyone in your home except you?

Is there any alcohol in your home? If yes, is it in a locked case and inaccessible to all minors? Will there be anyone drinking alcohol or smoking in your home when my child is there? (I have a friend that had to go pick up his daughter from a friend’s house when she called home to report that her friend’s mom was drunk and yelling loudly and she was scared).

Are there any older siblings in the home? If so, how old are they? (I hate to say this, but if you have a daughter, it might not be a good idea to let them spend the night at a friend’s house that includes older teenage boys unless you know and trust the family very well).

What activities will my child be involved in while there? (If music and movies are on the agenda, ask which artists or films will be played. If they are on your “not in our house” list, then speak up and let them know they will have to choose different entertainment. Suggest sending over your child’s favorite movies if they would like).

Will any other children be at the house, or spending the night? (This is important- I had another friend, whose daughter spent the night at a friend’s, only to find out the next day an older sibling had a rather rowdy co-ed party at the house the same night. Not a good scene).

Are there any computers with internet access in the bedroom? If no, is the computer’s location in a common area where you are able to keep an eye on activities?

These may seem invasive, and are a bit uncomfortable to ask the first or second time you do it, but trust me- it gets easier. Another thought- why not set a great example for others by providing them a brief overview of your plans, and even answers to the questions if their child will be spending the night at your house? A great way to do this is to send a brief E-mail thanking them for trusting their child to your care, explain the activities for the evening, confirm the drop-off and pick-up time, and answer the 6 questions you would ask them if your child was spending the night at their home.

If your child has spent the night at their house before, and they’ve endured your investigation, it shows you are consistent and fair. If they haven’t, you will make it easier when it’s time for you to ask them those questions. Plus you may just start a trend.

4. Explain the concept of personal space to your child. The physical space around your child is an important tool in keeping them safer. About the only way for someone to hurt your child is to get close to them. Teaching your children that there is an imaginary circle around them that ‘Don’t Knows’ and ‘Kinda Knows’ shouldn’t cross into if you’re not around is very important. Many cases where children have been injured or abducted have started with an adult approaching a child for what appears to be an innocent reason. Whether the adult says they need directions, or help finding a lost child or pet, what all of these have in common is an attempt by an adult to cross into a child’s ‘Safe Side Circle’ when you’re not there. Teach your children that adults don’t need help from children- period. If someone they don’t know crosses into that circle, your child should leave immediately and find you.

The Almost Great Leipers Fork Fire Part 2: "Two Person 500-Foot Fire Bucket Relays Rarely Work"

Yesterday I started out to write a brief funny story of how I almost burned down my new town shortly after moving in. As I got into it, and finished off my second giant mug of hyper-caffinated Starbucks French Roast, I let loose almost 1700 words.

My friend FMF (Free Money Finance) mentioned once on his blog that my posts are long, but at least I only post once a day. So, I figured I would cut this story into two 800+ word posts. I hope you enjoy the conclusion.

The Almost Great Leipers Fork Fire Part 2: "Two Person 500-Foot Fire Bucket Relays Rarely Work."

I looked down and to the side and noticed that the hot engine of my lawn tractor had ignited the dead grass being rolled into a giant cigar under the chassis, and flames were starting to lick up into the engine lighting the stray dead grass tucked into every nook and cranny on the mower. Then the dead grass around the front of the mower caught, and that is exactly when the panic kicked in.

I jumped off with one thought in my mind- “This mower is going to explode, and I will die.”

I ran several feet away and watched as the fire grew, engulfing the front of the mower and starting to spread in a surprisingly well-defined growing circle. Then another thought crossed my mind- “I paid $2000 for this stupid thing and I’m going to sit here and watch it burn up? No way!”

I ran back to the mower, grabbed the back-end (flames were shooting up from the ground in the cock-pit area, and sitting on the mower was not an option), and with all my strength pulled it backwards. Adrenaline kicked in, and the performance was almost super-human, though the effects of the feat were not all good. I succeeded in accomplishing two things: I pulled the mower to relative safety, and I also spread flames over another 10 feet of dead grass. I grabbed my full water bottle and half-empty beer bottle and doused the fire burning under the mower, and the now burning and melting front wheels.

The fire in the field continued to burn, and started accelerating. I screamed to my wife and kids that were in the backyard playing in our blow-up pool- “Fire! Fire!”

Looking back now, I’m not sure that was productive. I panicked Michelle, and the girls all started crying as they looked up and saw daddy awkwardly running towards them navigating foot high dead grass in flip-flops, high-stepping, and wearing a sweat-soaked Hawaiian shirt and holding an empty beer can and water bottle, set to the back drop of a smoke and fire grass inferno.

Michelle and I scrambled for ideas. She suggested we call the fire department to keep from burning down all of Leipers Fork and wouldn’t that be lovely for the new neighbors to do. I considered it for a moment, and couldn’t imagine suffering the embarrassment and humiliation of having several fire trucks in our yard with Michael, Sally, other neighbors, and the constant flow of Sunday cyclist that navigate our road stopping to watch the action. Especially after the stuck-in-the-mud fiasco.

Michelle and I grabbed anything that could hold water, dipped it into the pool, and together jogged the 500 feet to the fire site. Remember the party game where you run with a spoon full of water to see who fills up the cup first, and you spill half of it getting there? This was just like that, only with a feeling of panic and the fear of perishing in a dramatic explosion replacing fun.

After a couple of rounds of this we realized we needed something bigger. The fire was growing, now to a circle roughly 30 feet in diameter with no signs of slowing. There was enough fuel in the form of dead mounds of grass spread out over 11 acres to provide the start of another Great Chicago Fire. I grabbed a plastic storage bin and filled it with water from the pool, and then on the next round tried to lift the whole stupid pool. I had lost my mind and imagined I could somehow lift 100 gallons of water in a flexible blow-up pool.

Finally, at a point of desperation, standing on the outside of the circle trying to stomp out the fire in flip-flops, Michelle said “Do you think I should get the fire extinguisher from the kitchen?”

“OH MY GOSH YES!!!” I said, just then recalling we had bought one and placed it under the kitchen cabinet. Michelle ran to the house and fetched it while I continued to fruitlessly shuttle storage bins of water back and forth from the house. Michelle returned with the fire extinguisher, I popped the safety tab and got to work. The fire was out in another minute, leaving a black smoking circle probably visible from space.

The next few weeks kept me busy- replacing the burnt front tires, slowly and painstakingly mowing the yard with a fire-extinguisher bungee-corded to the mower, and shopping for a new mower that could handle our 11 acres without burning down our town or causing a life-long battle with hemorrhoids.







Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.

The Almost Great Leipers Fork Fire Part 1: "Smoke Between Your Legs"

In my post last week about “The Burning Of The Christmas Tree” I mentioned that a fire-extinguisher is now required for most outdoor activities around our house. I said I would tell the story of why at a later date. That day has arrived. It’s a long story, so I will post half the story today, and the other half tomorrow.

The Almost Great Leipers Fork Fire Part 1: "Smoke Between My Legs"

Shortly after moving into our new home in Leipers Fork Tennessee in May of 2003, we made the decision to keep our 11 acres cleanly mowed. This decision was based mostly on the mess we caused the first time we had it hedge-hogged the week we moved in. At the time the grass had reached chest high and brought life to the old lyric “amber waves of grain.”

We weren’t quite sure what hedge-hogging the grass entailed, but we did know that we had an offer to do it for $200, while a lawn care company quoted $800 to mow it. Bring on the hogs. The next day a tractor was towed onto our spread and it proceeded to slice down all the grass and hay, allowing it to fall to the ground in neat rows about a foot high. While it did “cut” the grass, what it left behind was a foot high grass carpet that looked worse. We needed a better solution.

I decided we would invest in a lawn tractor- the biggest I could find- and so searched Home Depot and Lowe’s. I found one at Lowe’s with a 54” mowing deck, the largest they had. It was delivered the next day and I planned my first big mow the following day, Friday.

By this time the grass had managed to grow again to about 2-3 feet in most places. As I started out on my brand new Toro Lawn Tractor (sounds much better than riding mower) I quickly realized I wasn’t going to be able to cut the grass very short. My solution was to set the deck at the highest setting, cut it roughly in half, and then go back and mow the whole yard again to get it to the desired height.

Have you ever driven past a freight train and stared at it wondering if it was moving or not? I’m sure that’s what I looked like from our road while I was sitting on my lawn tractor amidst a sea of 3 foot grass, moving at about 2mph.

I finished round one 6 hours later. My neighbors across the street, Michael and Sally, came out to say hi and mentioned with a grin on their face that my cool new mower sure was slow. These are the neighbors I had just recently met when I got my truck stuck in several feet of mud and they tried to help me get it out with their tractor (see my post: Our Family’s Off-Road Adventure).

As I started to embark on round 2 I was disheartened. I couldn’t imagine, and my rear-end couldn’t take, another 6 hour stretch. As it turned out, it didn’t matter. Trying to mow 18 inches of standing grass layered with another 18 inches of fresh cut grass is not well ingested by a residential lawn tractor.

My speed was cut in half and I gave up. I reasoned that if I waited a couple of days for the cut grass to dry up, round 2 would go much better. I waited until Sunday afternoon, and then ventured out to complete my mission. A fateful decision.

I love mowing grass. It is an escape. With my earplugs in place it is surprisingly quiet. It is a time of solitude, reflection, peace, cigars and beer. The smells while mowing are one other part of the task I enjoy greatly- the smell of fresh cut grass, of trees and the creek, and cigar smoke. Those are the good smells. The right and proper ones. The smell of grass burning is not one of them.

When there is a foot or more of dead dried grass on the ground most mowers have a difficult time choking down the mess while also struggling with the new grass to be mowed. Mowers deal with this in different ways. Some constantly clog up and spit out huge mounds of grass that look like hair-balls from some prehistoric 10 foot house cat. Some act like bull dozers paving a path through the grass with a constantly shifting wall in front, and high walls to the side leaving a wake resembling the parted Red Sea.

My new mower’s trick was to act like a Havana cigar maker carefully rolling tight cylinders of grass under the front wheels that became increasingly compact and required me to stop the mower, get out, and pull the four foot grass cigars out from the side before continuing.

It was about an hour after I started on round 2 that Sunday, and I was about as far away from my house as possible on our land, that my peaceful thoughts and reflections were shattered by a not-right smell.

These were my thoughts: “Hmm… I smell something burning. It smells sort of like burning grass. That’s weird. Hey, there’s smoke coming up from between my legs. That can’t be good.”

Next- The Almost Great Leipers Fork Fire Part 2: "Two Person 500-Foot Fire Bucket Relays Rarely Work"







Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.

The Quietest Women Love The Loudest Whistle

My recently deceased position as president of a start-up kids safety company allowed me to dabble once again in product development. Our core product- the safety video mentioned in a previous post- was selling very well, but we needed to expand our brand offering quickly to respond to consumer demand. A follow-up video was $500k and a year away.

The team started throwing out ideas that fit the criteria I laid out- safety related while also fun for kids. A whistle was high on the list, and my first pick for development. We researched manufacturers and found one that intrigued us. All Weather Safety Whistle Company out of St. Louis MO touted themselves as the manufacturer of the loudest whistle in the world. We ordered a few samples and tested them out.

They have plenty of data on their website to prove their superiority- several scientific tests that measured them against competitors, and of course a list of clients that use their whistles that include US Special Forces, Army, Navy, Coast Guard, NYPD and NFL referees. But what do they know?

My four girls tested the whistles all over our 11 acre spread. Could they hear it from 500 feet away? Check. 1000 feet away? Check. Underwater in the pool? Check. Yes- the whistles work underwater. Amazing.

We decided to use this manufacturer, put our logo on it, place it in a nifty package, and sell away. It has been one of the strongest sellers on our website. We have heard from customers about how they have used the whistles to protect themselves or loved ones. An unintended benefit has come from offering the whistles- it has attracted new customers outside of our core target of moms with young kids. The whistles are selling well to older parents buying them for personal safety, or for their college age daughters. Very interesting.

Well, on to the purpose of this post. Last year during a couple of conventions we attended (The National PTA Convention and the Mothers of Pre-Schoolers Convention) we spread our wares out on our booth table. Our booth staff diligently fished for customers, answered questions, processed purchases and collected names and e-mail addresses. I noticed the whistle was not selling well at the first convention and thought we needed something that would make it stand out.

My idea? Place a whistle on the front table with a sign that read: “This is the loudest whistle in the world. We dare you to blow it.”

That was all it took. Every few minutes we had a woman take the challenge. Sometimes with friends that goaded her to try, sometimes on her own and curious. The blast would SHUT DOWN the entire convention floor for 2 seconds or so, and everyone in the aisle would turn and stare in surprise thinking “so that’s where the whistle sound has been coming from all day.”

We sold a large number of whistles at both events, got every other vendor that knew who we were to hate our guts, and on one occasion had a security guard come tell us to stop (we didn’t listen to him. Hey- we paid our money for the booth, and this was product sampling. Sorry).

I was fascinated by the type of women that would end up blowing the whistle. All types considered it. The loud boisterous types, the funny life-of-the-party types, the artists, the business women, all types. The ones that you could count on to take up the challenge? The quiet, reserved, and generally unassuming women.

This was their chance to prove they could rock the boat, party out and raise a ruckus with the best of them. They tended to also ask if they would get a prize or a discount if they blew it. The answer was no, but that didn't stop them.






Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.