Things Must Be Bad

On Friday while running some errands I happened to glance over at the “Vacuum Cleaner Repair Shop” that has been located in a run-down strip center in Franklin TN for at least as many years as I’ve lived here- since 1994. In all those years I have never actually seen anyone entering, exiting, inside or parked outside of said shop. I always wondered how they stayed in business, and also wondered- who gets vacuum cleaners repaired anymore?

How strange that on that day, as I glanced at the little shop for probably the five thousandth time (its right in my line of sight as a make a regular turn on or from the road to my house) I saw a few cars in the parking lot, and a couple walking into the store (emerging from a shiny black Cadillac Escalade SUV wearing leather Tennessee Titans jackets).

Then, as I drove by listening to Fox News on XM Radio, a news segment came on about how the tough economy is forcing people to adopt the old saying from the WWII era- “Use It All, Wear It Out, Make It Do, or Go Without.” The reporter went on to say that more and more people are now repairing old appliances like toasters and vacuum cleaners instead of replacing them.

Bizarre coincidence or a message from beyond?

I Am Elvis

Last month was some sort of Elvis month thing. Not really a big fan, and don’t follow the news on him much, so I assume it was some sort of celebration of his birth, or death, or something or other.

A couple months ago I was in NYC for the Licensing Show, and stopped by the Elvis booth. EPE, or Elvis Presley Enterprises, is the faceless machine that keeps him alive, scooping up gobs of money for the use of his name and likeness. There is no reason to believe EPE won’t be doing the same thing a hundred years from now.

It kind of creeps me out. I was walking around a huge booth with giant images of Elvis, music and video pouring out from various spots around the booth, and bright shiny young people in suits and dresses shaking hands and handing out Elvis Info Packets.

I wonder, do these dead celebrities plan on these things when they are still alive? Do they sit at a conference table with their managers and loved ones and review images, models for miniatures and dolls, napkins, table cloths, plush toys and all sorts of licensed goods to get the stamp of approval while they still breathe?

Does a ‘After Death Marketing Specialist’ layout the 50 year plan…” Mr. Elvis, we are really excited about this part here…approximately 30 years after your death we will launch an exciting new line of apparel including scarves, boots and jumpsuits. Our finance team expects to generate some significant licensing revenue with this campaign and believe it will set up your ‘Death Plus 40 Years” promotion centered around home décor! We hope you LOVE it!”

Or, perhaps, it just isn’t mentioned and the rights to do this in perpetuity after their death are neatly tucked into various legal documents that are signed while watching TV and eating fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.