I’m One Of The 2.5 Million!

Apparently fewer Americans are watching network television. I am most certainly one of them. Along with my wife. We have abandoned all network television except for 24, Lost, and my wife still watches Grey’s Anatomy. But even that last one is at risk as the show continues to slide into the muck and mire of obsessive and continual gratuitous sex. Its just a matter of time.

We crack up at the slop the networks throw up each fall and are amazed they think ANYBODY will watch the stuff. The major networks keep scooping poop into the troughs and wonder why (and are angry!) that fewer and fewer sheeple are feeding.

Check out this ‘news’ story (italicized comments are mine):

By DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer
Tue May 8, 6:02 PM ET

NEW YORK - Maybe they're outside in the garden (nope). They could be playing softball (well, maybe yes for our family). Or perhaps they're just plain bored (bored? What? What planet is this writer from?). In TV's worst spring in recent memory, a startling number of Americans drifted away from television the past two months: More than 2.5 million fewer people were watching ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox than at the same time last year, statistics show (Why is anyone surprised? The shows are CRAP).

Everyone has a theory to explain the plummeting ratings (Crappy shows): early Daylight Savings Time (nope), more reruns (nope), bad shows (DING! DING! DING!), more shows being recorded or downloaded or streamed (maybe a bit of this too, in addition to the CRAP shows).

The viewer plunge couldn't have come at a worse time for the networks — next week they will showcase their fall schedules to advertisers in the annual "up front" presentations (The shows will be CRAPPIER than this year’s, guaranteed).

What am I doing instead of watching TV? Working, coaching softball, blogging, helping my oldest with math homework, reading, playing the guitar, anything but watching a bunch of lame characters in lame shows weave sex into every scene of every show, and at the same time manage to degrade and demean the things most important to us: Faith, family and country.

Goodbye ABC, CBS and NBC. Nice knowing ya. Thanks for putting Lost and 24 online so I can watch it went I want without those pesky ads and plugs for your crappy shows!






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Crazy Lady Flips Out

Tonight one of my four daughters had a softball game. It was a doozy.

A fight almost broke out. Not between the girls. No chance of that. They’re all just there to have fun. It was a couple parents on the other team that were the problem.

We were playing our rivals Hillsboro. Actually, in our area there is a very real pecking order based on how far south each team is from the hoity-toity Brentwood area. The Brentwood teams look at Grassland as folks from the sticks. Grassland, a couple miles south of Brentwood look down their noses at the Franklin teams. Franklin gets to kick around Bethesda and Hillsboro, while the folks from Bethesda and Hillsboro, and all the northern areas mentioned previously sneer at Spring Hill, Farivew..and God help them… College Grove. It’s quite funny actually.

So, tonight it was Franklin versus Hillsboro. The tension was heavy as parents from both sides prepared to see their 7 & 8 year old daughters battle to the death.

All was going well until one of the parents on the other team sort of flipped out. She didn’t like a call, and I guess the moonshine was kicking in, and she started yelling at the umpire. John the ump, a great guy, and very fair, walked over to the lady and said “Excuse me, are you the coach?” The lady didn’t answer. John repeated the question again, slower and very loud for all to hear. The lady responded “No.” And John said “I didn’t think so. If you’re not the coach, then were done here.” And walked away. The lady called out “Are you the umpire?”

John jumped back at her and told her one more crack out of her and she could go to her car. The lady flipped out and started yelling. I told all our girls to get off the field and head to the dugout. I’ve seen too many news stories of adults getting into fights at kids games. I didn’t want these little girls to see parents make idiots of themselves- or worse- get hurt.

Crazy Man got up and started defending Crazy Lady, a bit more yelling ensued, and then things finally settled down. We continued the game..and won.

After the game a couple parents came from the Hillsboro team over to us and apologized for Crazy Lady and assured us that they are not all like that. We thanked them for coming over and told them other than that incident we enjoyed playing with them.

John the umpire hung out with our team after the game and half-jokingly asked if I would walk him to his car.






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How Was Your Day?

Each night at dinner I ask each of our four girls how their day was. For three of them, its an exercise in parental coaching to get them to move beyond the one-word answer “good.” Why was it good? What happened today? Did you learn anything? Did anything interesting happen to you or someone else? C’mon little lady..give me something here.

For our girl A, eight years old, no such encouragement is needed. We all must steel ourselves for the outpouring that comes with the question. A blow by blow granular recounting of every second of the day. Most of the time it is a hodge-podge of random events, comments and experiences that require multiple questions to try to string together a bigger story of the day.

Today’s was particularly interesting. Here is my best shot at recounting word-for-word her update:

“Today was good. I took my RAA test- it’s for reading. I read a story called, um, I don’t remember what it was called. We read a story and then take a test to see what we remember. It was about a dog and a boy. And a man stole the dog from the boy and when the boy asked him what happened to the dog the man said a swarm of birds took him away. So the boy took the mans donkey and told him a swarm of birds took him away too, and then they laughed and they gave each other their animals back. And Ms Kretchmar got really angry because she wrote the message for the day on the board and it took her 10 minutes to write it and someone erased half of it. She said that if the person that did it didn’t tell than we would all miss recess. Then C (a boy) said he had to go to the bathroom and he had marker on his hands and had to wash it off so we all think he did it. And someone threw mulch at me.”

I finally had a chance to ask a clarifying question about her day at the end of the spewing but I didn’t know where to start. So I started at the last thing she said…”Someone threw mulch at you?”

“Yes. I was doing my work and then I felt mulch hit my head, and then I felt it in my hair and someone threw it at me.”

Oh. Interesting.






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The Writings Of A Stupid And Evil Man

Some gent named Paul Watson wrote this amazing essay on his own little website. It’s a must read. It will give you a glimpse of the insanity that is growing in this world.

There is a growing cancer of people that think mankind- the crowning creation of God- a spirit made flesh in His own image and adopted by Him as His own sons and daughters- are nothing more than viruses. Trash that is dirtying up this pure and holy earth.

When I read this I almost agreed with Mr. Watson that we needed to re-wild and depopulate the earth. I would like to start, and end, with him.

Take a few minutes to read if you dare. This man, more than any other I have ever heard or read, truly has a God-complex. It seems to me he thinks he is the messiah, and all of us stupid virus-people need to die off and let him live in peace and quiet with his granola, bicycle and wild animals.

http://www.seashepherd.org/editorials/editorial_070504_1.html

The picture above, while not actually Paul Watson, probably resembles him in many ways.






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"Joel's Drums" by the koo

So, here is the first music video from the rock band I manage "on the side." There's only three problems with this music video:

1. Joel didn't take the time to memorize his opening lines. He's obviously reading from cue cards written in crayon on his lap.

2. Only Joel and Tucker are in the video. Josh and Jesse are conspicuously absent.

3. The music in the music video is neither written nor performed by the koo.

Other than that, it's great!

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