Scary Santa

Here's my late Christmas post for the season. I was bopping around the internet reading news stories and found quite a funny collection of snapshots showing young children reacting rather badly to being plopped onto Santa's lap and left there with a huge stranger dressed in bright red with a giant white beard holding on to them against their will. It's amazing to me that anyone gets a good picture of a kid with Santa.

Here's a link to the collection:

Scared of Santa!

I posted my favorite one above. Hilarious. I imagine the only better picture would be one of John and Kate plus Eight with all eight kiddies losing their minds at once.

Two Thumbs Down For A Christmas Story

I realize what I’m writing here, about a movie treasured by millions, may cause great anger and resentment from most people that happen to read this. I get the feeling, based on comments I’ve heard, that the movie “A Christmas Story” is a treasured Christmas favorite that has touched the hearts and funny bones of millions of people, and to criticize it is akin to standing in the midst of a Code Pink rally with a “Support our Troops and Make Our Country Safer! Win the War on Terror!” sign.

I can’t stand it.

I don’t know how, or why, but I totally missed this film growing up. It came out in 1983 (I was a junior in high school), and I don’t remember a thing about it. Last Christmas, some 25 years after its release, my family was visiting my sister Carla and B-I-L Josh’s house for Christmas dinner. When my sister found out I hadn’t seen the movie (she was absolutely aghast. Not only had I not seen it, I had NEVER heard of it), she suggested we all watch it together.

And so the movie started, on their killer new giant HD TV. I awaited a magical Christmas movie experience that I assumed would rival classic holiday films like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” or “Miracle on 34th Street.”

30 minutes in and I started to check the news on my Blackberry. That’s a bad sign. I also read up on the film and how popular it was (checked IMDBPRO.com to see its StarRating, comments, etc. It did seem that millions LOVED this movie).

I endured it, if only to be able to say I had seen the whole thing, and I was left wondering why. That pretty much sums it up. Why. Why do people like this movie? Why was it considered such a classic? Why do people think it’s funny? I just don’t get it. Its no “Elf.”

Team Lifting at Target

Last night Michelle and I went Christmas shopping to wrap up most of the final gifts on our list. Afterwards we debated and disagreed on a spot for dinner. Back and forth we went- Thai, Chinese, Alexander’s, Logan’s and more. In a fit of frustration I suggested McDonalds and Michelle agreed. I headed that way until she realized I was serious and called me off.

We ended up at the local pub for a burger and beer. I was so hungry at that point I could care less where we ate.

Our shopping excursion was at Target and we about broke the bank. One of the items we bought is classified by Target as a “team lift.” This means 2-4 people, depending on the weight of the item, are required by company policy to help lift the item off a shelf or sales floor. This particular item listed the proper number as 3.

I asked for help getting the large and weighty item off the shelf and to the front of the store for check-out. A petite clerk answered my call from help (one of those “I need help” buttons in the aisle at Target I love so much. I’m working up the nerve one day to push the button and when help arrives, ask them for career advice). She saw what I wanted to buy and went to get more help. In a few minutes the petite clerk arrived with a flat-bed cart and one other short female clerk.

Now this items weighs at least 250 pounds. As they leaned in to lift it up I jumped in to help.

“Sir, you can’t lift this, it’s against store policy- we’ll take care of it”

So there I stood… a large and relatively strong man, watching as two little ladies struggled with everything they had to lift the item. I felt like a union boss or a construction supervisor.

As they lifted it (well, it sort of fell off the low shelf as they grabbed on for dear life to keep it from falling on them and ending their short lives) I noticed the back was totally scratched up. I asked for the other one that was behind it.

They had to move the original one they removed from the shelf nearby and lean it up against a wall while they struggled to get the second one on the cart. After several minutes and just a few life-ending close calls, they succeeded.

These girls have a great future in commercial and residential moving.

How To Build A Willow Tree Crèche

Well… it’s not a perfect replica of the famous (and pricey) Willow Tree Crèche, but it will certainly do as a great inexpensive backdrop to your Willow Tree Nativity set or any other nativity set in need of a rustic looking stable.

I actually think my version is better for a couple reasons: 1) It's larger, providing more space for various characters. 2) It's cheaper!

I’m posting this because I’ve noticed a good amount of traffic hitting here from Google searches with the search terms WILLOW TREE CRECHE BUILD. Last year I wrote a post about the crèche I built for my wife Michelle (Project Crèche Complete!). I didn’t give any detailed instructions or show photo’s, so I figured I’d do it this year in hopes of helping anyone that needs it to avoid the $75-100 cost plus S&H and build their own for up to 90% less.

First I should give you the bad news and good news. The bad news I’ve already mentioned- its not exactly a Willow Tree Crèche. The good news? It’s EASY to make and very inexpensive. I don’t have much experience in woodworking- this was only my 4th or 5th project. It cost a grand total of $30 and I got enough material to make 3 Crèches (so far I’ve made one for us and one for my mother-in-law).

Here are the detailed instructions:

Using any kind of wood you like (I used pine- cheap and easy to work with) create a base, backstop, platform, backdrop, crossbeam and Roof. Read through the instructions below carefully to make sure you get enough wood and other materials to complete the project.

BASE. This is the foundation of the crèche where all the remaining pieces (and the nativity set) rest upon.

1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 20” wide, 10” deep and ¾” high (fairly standard height for a plank of pine from Home Depot or Lowes).

2. Using a miter saw (or miter angle on your table saw) cut the length of the front of the BASE at a 45 degree angle.

3. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth, especially the front sharp angle resulting from the 45 degree cut- I sliced my finger pretty badly on my first crèche.

4. Stain all surfaces except the bottom to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

BACKSTOP. This is a lip at the back of the BASE that creates a slightly raised line along the width. I actually didn’t have to create this since the BASE I used was a discarded shelf that had this lip/backstop already on it.

1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 20” wide, ¾” deep and 1 1/8” high.

2. Fasten along the back of the BASE with nails ensuring smooth edges matching the bottom and two sides of the BASE.

3. Drill two ¼” holes, all the way through the BACKSTOP, for dowels (make sure you’re drilling down into the 1 1/8” height), 7” from each end.

4. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth.

5. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

PLATFORM. This is similar to the BASE, but smaller and rests on top of the BASE providing a higher elevation to lift up the main nativity set characters.

1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 10 ¼” wide, 8 ¾” deep and ¾” high.

2. Using a miter saw (or miter angle on your table saw) cut the length of the front of the PLATFORM at a 45 degree angle (just like you did for the BASE).

3. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth, especially the front sharp angle resulting from the 45 degree cut.

4. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

BACKDROP. The all important back of the stable creating the backdrop for the amazing scene of the birth of Jesus. There are actually 7 pieces to the BACKDROP- backdrop base, backdrop lip, beadboard paneling, 2 columns and 2 dowels. NOTE- It is important to have the BACKDROP be able to disconnect from the BASE and FOUNDATION to make it easy to store the Crèche flat during the year, so don't glue or affix the final BACKDROP to the BASE beyond just dropping the BACKDROP dowels into the holes in the BACKDROP/BACKSTOP. This will make more sense after you watch the video at the end.

Backdrop Base
1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 10 ¾” wide, ¾” deep and 10 ¾” high/tall.

2. Drill two ¼” holes, about 1” deep, for dowels on the bottom of the BACKDROP, 2 ½” from each end of the edges. IMPORTANT- prior to drilling holes, make sure the hole placements will match up with the dowel holes drilled into the BACKSTOP.

3. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth.

4. Stain just the two outside edges, left and right, to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

Backdrop Lip
1. This is similar to the BACKSTOP created for the BASE except it will be sitting on it’s side as compared to the BACKSTOP, creating a lip sticking out towards the front of the crèche.

2. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 10 ¾” wide, 1 1/8” deep and ¾” high. Fasten along the back of the BASE with nails ensuring smooth edges matching the bottom and two sides of the BASE.

3. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth.

4. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

Beadboard Paneling
1. Using light wood beadboard paneling (found at Home Depot or Lowes) cut a piece to the following measurements: 7 ¾” wide, 9 5/12” high.

2. Sand the outside edges (but not the front surface) until smooth.

3. Stain just the front surface to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

Columns (make 2 of exactly the same piece below)
1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 1 ½” wide, ¾” deep and 9 5/12” high.

2. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth.

3. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

Dowels (make/use 2 of exactly the same piece below)
1. Cut a ¼” wide dowel to 2” long.

ASSEMBLING BACKDROP. Now that you have the 7 pieces comprising the BACKDROP, you’ll assemble them into a single piece:

1. Lay the Backdrop Base down on it’s back and arrange the 2 columns (on the two opposites sides) and beadboard paneling (in between the columns) to ensure they tuck smoothly under the Backdrop Lip, are flush to the Backdrop Base sides.

2. Sand or trim cut to fit if it’s not. NOTE- there will be a gap below the columns and beadboard paneling where the Backdrop Base will be showing.

3. Place the PLATFORM on top of the BASE. While holding the Backdrop Base together with the columns and beadboard in place, ensure the assembled piece will sit flush on top of the BASE, BACKSTOP and PLATFORM. Sand or trim cut if necessary.

4. Using wood glue, glue the 2 columns and beadboard paneling in place to the Backdrop Base. Let dry.

5. Glue or fasten firmly the two 2” dowels into the holes in the Backdrop Base.

CROSSBEAM. A simple strip of wood that will sit on top of the BACKDROP (resting also on the two columns) providing some additional depth to the BACKDROP.

1. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 12 ½” wide, ½” deep and ¾” high.

2. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth.

3. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

ROOF. You’re almost done! These are the last two pieces. Two simple pieces of wood that will lean together (or you can glue/fasten them) creating an illusion of a roof.

1. Make 2 of exactly the same pieces.

2. Cut a piece of wood to the following measurements: 7 ½” long, ¾” wide and 1 ½” high.
Using a miter saw (or miter angle on your table saw) cut a 45 degree angle on both ends creating a trapezoid.

3. Sand all edges and surfaces until smooth. Ensure the two pieces lean together and balance/stand.

4. Stain all surfaces to desired color (SEE NOTE ON STAINING AT THE BOTTOM).

5. If you prefer, you can affix the two roof pieces together with glue or a framing nail. I didn’t connect them and just lean them together on the final crèche. While they fall down easily if the crèche is bumped, this is a delicate connection and for ease of storage its better not to affix them.

STAINING. This was actually the one part that I was most afraid of. Sure, I can paint- can’t everyone? You buy a gallon of interior, a roller and drop cloth, and whammo- slap the paint on the wall. But special effects and finishes? Frightening. Fortunately, the folks at my neighborhood Woodcraft Store helped me. They had a display from “General Finishes” paint products that allowed me to easily spot the look I wanted and what materials I needed to create the look. In my case, I wanted an old barn-wood look (slightly grayish with black and dark highlights) and the chart showed exactly what I needed to do. The instructions below are for the color I chose, but you can finish any way you like.

1. Purchase 1 pint each of "EF Products by General Finishes, Buttermilk Yellow Water Based Milk Paint" and "General Finishes Pitch Black Water Based Glaze Effects." I’ve made two crèches and have only used about half of each of the pints I bought.

2. Test the following on a few pieces of scrap wood (the same wood you’re building your crèche out of) to make sure you get the technique / look right. I can’t emphasize enough how inexperienced I was, and how easy this is. Once you get it right, repeat on the final pieces of the Crèche.

3. Using a lint-free cloth (code words for old t-shirt cut into multiple easy to handle pieces roughly 5” by 5”) and starting with the Buttermilk Yellow paint, dab directly into the paint can getting about as much paint on the cloth as you need for the piece you’re working on. For a big piece like the BASE or PLATFORM that might be about a tablespoon or two, much less for smaller pieces.

4. Hand-rub the paint over the desired surfaces of the piece you’re working on. Be sure to rub and dab deeply into the rough ends of cut wood that is across the grain.

5. Allow to dry (at least a full hour, best if it’s two).

6. Using a fresh cloth, and using the Pitch Black Glaze Effects paint, dab directly into the pain can getting a small amount (much less than the initial coat of yellow). Hand rub over the dried Buttermilk Yellow painted piece and watch the magic of yellow and black creating a rustic old barn-wood grey look. (NOTE- Pay special attention to painting the beadboard and make sure you get the yellow and then black paint deep into the beadboard grooves.

7. Allow to dry (at least a full hour, best if it’s two).


You’re finished! Wasn’t that easy? Now, check out this video to see how easy it is to set up the completed Crèche each Christmas season:

Whether you actually used these instructions to build a crèche, or just read through this far and watched the video for the fun of it, I hope you found this interesting and helpful. If you have any questions or need something clarified feel free to email me.

Is It Christmas Tree Time Already?

Last night we had a family gathering celebrating my B-I-L’s birthday. Dinner at Macaroni Grill (with a couple glasses of their half-way decent house Chianti), and then back to my sister’s place in Spring Hill for cake and presents.

When we pulled into their neighborhood I was a bit taken aback to see a couple houses with Christmas lights up around the house.

The real shocker was to see a full Christmas tree up with lights and trimmings inside one of the houses.

Really? On November 8th?


It’s still nearly 3 weeks before Thanksgiving. Just a bit past a week since Halloween.

I don’t frequent malls, but I suspect this homeowner even beat Sears and JC Penny.

How Wireless Printing Ruined Christmas, But Makes For A Nice November

I am a boy at heart. And boys love toys. And I have plenty.

Not the kind of toys many other men have like snowmobiles, jet skis or hunting and fishing gear. Mine run a bit more techie.

I have a collection of no fewer than 8 digital music players. I sit at a desk with 3 computers, 6 monitors, 2 printers, 3 scanners (including a flat bed, negative and print scanner), video and music editing software suite, the latest Blackberry (I don’t want an iPhone, so I got the Blackberry and an iTouch), tons of woodworking tools, a commercial grade mower for my 11 acres, cameras, and so much more crap it sometimes makes my head spin.

My wife dreads Christmas and my birthday. She has no clue what to get me.

What brings me the most joy though are the little things. A leather journal, a fountain pen with an old fashioned ink well, a coffee/cream mixer or a cool innovative miniature stapler. Yes, I can be as weird as the next person.

This Christmas she thought of the ABSOLUTELY PERFECT Christmas present for me. The problem was that when she bought it online she printed out the receipt on the wrong printer. It printed wirelessly on one of my office printers downstairs and I found the receipt.

Telescoping BackScratcher. $10.00. 100% perfect, and 100% me.

I told her I found the receipt and we decided I’d get my gift early.

Yes.

Wii For Christmas- Work

A Wii was the big gift from Santa Claus this Christmas for our whole family. Wii are a bit late to the party- seems the system was a big hit earlier in 2007, and Michelle and I only played it once prior when we were at a friends house for a party, but we loved it.

We were glad Santa had delivered this gift instead of what a few other folks we know went through. My brother-in-law got up EARLY the day after Thanksgiving to get to Wal-mart at 5AM to buy one, only to arrive and find them sold out.

Several other folks I knew couldn’t land one, and on a couple occasions in the last several weeks when I stopped in stores to scope one out (and the prices) there were none to be found. I overheard store clerks tell customers there were no more in Nashville. I found a website that updated hourly on Wii availability around the country- both in stores and online. I looked for a day or two and couldn’t find any.

Then somehow Santa scored one and presto- the whole system and tons of extra’s was sitting in front of the tree Tuesday morning. But the fun was far off.

I knew I couldn’t just plug and play. The mess of wires and components hiding behind our entertainment system couldn’t possibly digest one more piece of electronic equipment. It was time for major surgery.

I keep a box of electronic gear and wires in storage, and pulled it out for the trip up two floors to the family room. I knew I would need some combination of various plugs and wires so brought the whole gaggle of junk upstairs. I started the project at about 10AM the day after Christmas and by noon there was close to a dozen pieces of electronics, miles of wires and a giant TV rolled out and in the middle of the family room. It looked like a bomb had gone off in the control center of Jack Bauer’s CTU headquarters.

The work went on and on. I tried to optimize the space, find the best placement for various gear taking into consideration the distance to power outlets and length of power cords, stacking components that made sense together (i.e. satellite receiver and amp, etc), and the best way to logically move through all the options when the family was trying to enjoy the family room (satellite TV, DVD, VHS, CD, Xbox, Wii, TV guardian, Karaoke, phone, etc). By about 5PM I was finished and clean-up began. What an exhausting process... and Wii hadn't even played it yet.

Christmas- Day

Good news for all peoples! Christ is born in Bethlehem!

A wonderful morning with my wife and kids, a relaxing afternoon, and a huge Christmas dinner with extended family.

What could be better? I’ll tell you. My sister Carla volunteered to cook and host the annual family gathering at her house this year- the first year in… I don’t know how many… that Michelle didn’t have to rush around like a crazy person starting at 9AM Christmas morning to get a meal for 15+ people ready by 4PM in the afternoon.

A very restful and peaceful day, followed by a 30min drive to my sister’s that allowed us to just show up, eat and drink, and then leave.

Wow. I hope she does it again next year!

Christmas- Eve

As I worshipped during our church’s Christmas eve service 7PM, with an invited friend on one side of me, and my wife and four kids on the other, the full weight of the words we were singing pounded down on my heart.

A momentous thing happened that first day of Jesus’s life in the flesh. A plan, who knows how long in the making, had gone fully into effect. The Lamb, the only sacrifice fully acceptable to God in order to appease His need for justice and order in the universe was born.

Romans 6 through 11 in “The Message”:

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.

Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!

Merry CHRISTmas!

Project Crèche Complete!

I did it. Finally.

A bit more than a year ago I promised Michelle I would use my budding skills as a woodsmith (is that a word? Woodworker sounds wrong) to make a Crèche for her Willow Tree nativity set. She had seen the official version in catalogs and stores for $60-70 and it just seemed to much to her to pay that for about $3 worth of wood and paint.

I said I would, and so a week ago I started on the project. I had found some great planks of wood at the dump a couple months ago and threw them into my truck thinking I could probably make something out of them for my garage/work area. Perhaps a new work bench or some extra scrap wood for something or other I might someday build (or then again, might never).

I had set a reminder in my Outlook last December and sure enough it popped up and reminded me of this commitment. I headed to my work area and found the old picture of the Willow Tree Crèche from a catalog and eye-balled it for a few minutes. I found the measurements from a listing online and started cutting and sanding away. I only used the rough dimensions (length and width of the base), and did the rest purely by eye. It turned out just a bit better than planned.

I designed it differently than the retail version- the back of the Crèche is connected with two dowel rods that allow the back to pull off the base and lie flat for easy packing when we store all our Christmas decorations.

I used a butternut yellow milk-based paint for all the surfaces, and then hand-rubbed black glossy effects paint over the yellow to create a wonderful old barn wood grey color (thanks to the helpful people at the local WoodCraft store for the paint tip!).

Michelle is pleased. And so am I for remembering to follow through on my promise.

Christmas Conundrum

We have everything we need, in material terms. A home, safe neighborhood, space, plenty of food, music, movies, televisions, surround sound, Tivo, clothes (man…do we have clothes), toys, digital music players (last count, somewhere around 10 of them), and on and on and on.

And so Christmas comes again. Yet another year of running around buying stuff to give to people and each other. What do we buy? What do we ‘need’?

This cycle and focus on gifts is driving me crazy. Michelle too. But we still have two young ones that relish the magic of Christmas morning and the gifts from Santa. We have always been modest with gifts- we don’t go crazy. Santa brings each girl one gift a year plus a stocking, and we give the girls a few other gifts as well. But with 4 kids, and an ever growing extended family, what once was a month where we spent $300 or $400 is now a couple grand when all is is said and done.

And how are we better for it? In January, how are we different, other than the burden of the new stuff accumulated?

We want to do it different this year. But we are not on a course yet to do so. Do we forgo most of the gifts and take a nice vacation? How do we help others instead of helping ourselves to the plenty God has provided us? We are searching and talking and thinking about it.

The Burning Of The Christmas Tree 2007

A few weeks before the Christmas of 1989, Michelle and my first Christmas together as a married couple, my parents gave us a nice fake tree that they said would last us for years. It did. We used it for fourteen years straight, and it always looked wonderful.

In 2003 we made the switch to a real tree and we won’t go back. After the holidays, realizing that we no longer lived in the city limits of Franklin (we moved in the spring of that year) and left behind city garbage collection and Christmas tree removal, a new family tradition was born, and was practiced yet again today, January 13th, 2007:

The Burning Of The Christmas Tree

I know what you're probably thinking right about now- "It's the 13th! What took you so long! Christmas was 19 days ago for Christmas' sake."

Well, to successfully and safely execute “The Burning Of The Christmas Tree” you must have certain conditions present: No rain, relatively dry ground/fire pit, no wind, and time available to pull it all off. Over the last three weeks we just haven’t had all those things line up for us. Today they did- just barely.

We were just an hour or two from yet another rainstorm. It has been raining constantly here for weeks with just a few days off between storms. You can see from this radar image taken right about the time we lit up the tree that another storm was approaching. The red arrow is where our house is, and the yellow arrow is where K is- she is at camp this weekend, and missed the family tradition this year.

So, the tradition entails making sure all the decorations are off (Michelle did this the day after Christmas), the water is out of the tree stand reservoir (done this morning), and a clear walkway out the front door is made. We drop the tree onto a tarp, and haul it out the front door and place it on a small trailer hooked up to my mower.

Then off it goes to the fire pit at the back of our property.

I then dig a small hole in the middle of the pit for the tree trunk, and drop it in. You can burn a Christmas tree on its side, but you lose the towering inferno look I always look for in a burning Christmas tree.

Once positioned, it’s as simple as lighting the tiniest little branch sticking out from the bottom, and getting away. You have no doubt heard of the saying "Lit up like a Christmas tree." That old saying has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas lights strung carefully around a tree. No- its all about the nuclear fusion that takes place about 10 seconds after the tree really catches- 20 seconds, and everything is over.

Here is a photo montage of this years action. You can see the small flame that caught with the very first attempt...

Here we are at about T plus 5 seconds...

Now at T plus 10 seconds...

And finally a full 20 seconds after the first flame licked the bottom of the tree, it’s over.

The tradition is fun for the whole family- we all get out there and watch it burn up. One year we did it at night and it lit up the whole back yard.

Oh- this is the fire extinguisher my wife insists we bring out to “The Burning Of The Christmas Tree.” Ever since the fire I started in the yard a couple summers ago she just doesn’t trust me. More on that another day.

The tradition is fun, but there is something also sad about it. The Burning Of The Christmas Tree is the "period" to our family's annual sentence "Christmas is over."

Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.

Sergeant Pruitt And The Slingshot

I know it’s now two days after Christmas, and the whole Christmas-memories thing is over for the year, but I just remembered this one as I was pouring my morning coffee and looking out the kitchen window.

Our family moved from Hickam Air Force Base in Oahu Hawaii to Ft. Meade Maryland in 1976 when I was ten years old. We moved to a remote area of the Army base, on the edge of a large forest with multiple hiking paths and dense forests. There was an old small quarry nearby- well, more of a series of abandoned heaps of gravel and stone in a pit, and it was a favorite hang-out for the local kids, especially for breaking bottles and shooting cans with BB guns, rocks, and the holy grail for ten year old boys- the Wrist Rocket.

I wanted one bad. It’s a black wire-frame sling-shot with rubber straps and a leather cradle for the ammunition, all resting on a hard rubber base that sits over the wrist, providing incredible tension when pulling back the straps for a shot. The velocity that can be achieved is amazing. They were the new status symbol for sixth graders- the Tiger hand-held electronic football game had not yet been invented.

I begged for one for Christmas- it was certainly #1 on my massive wish-list, and I verbally reinforced that top pick on a regular basis with my parents. “Puhleese?” My dad was uncertain- he was worried I would kill someone with it, while my mom was much more understanding.

I got the Wrist Rocket that Christmas morning, and later that day, headed out with it protruding casually out of my back pocket like it had been there my whole life and I wasn’t just showing off my Christmas present. I hit the gravel pit with a couple bottles in my hand, and found a few other kids to hang with. I had a blast. One of the kids mentioned that if you got the special ammunition made for the Wrist Rocket (they looked like enlarged BBs but with flattened sides for your thumb and forefinger to rest against when pulling back the cradle for the shot), and hit a big rock or the paved road a huge shower of sparks would erupt. My purpose in life was set.

I got hold of a handful of these, and decided to test the shower of sparks theory. My parents were out of the house for the day and I was alone with my younger sister. I had an idea- I could go upstairs and shoot down at the road, maximizing the resulting spark shower. I don’t know if that makes much sense, but it sure did when I was ten years old.

I went upstairs, lifted the shades of my bedroom window, opened the window, and took aim at the road that ran between our strip of military row-houses and our neighbors across the street. Yes, you probably know what happens next.

I placed the steel ball in the cradle, pulled back as hard as I could, and let loose a power-shot right at the middle of the street.

I was confused for a second. The shower of sparks did materialize, but my friend did not tell me about the amazing shattering sound that accompanied them. It was wonderful to behold. It all happened in a split-second.

I caught movement beyond the strike-zone, and looked up to see the final pieces of a large window dangling and falling to the ground. There, in its place, was Sgt. Pruitt, holding his newspaper, sitting at the kitchen table, and looking up at me with shock and horror on his face. I looked at him. He looked at me. And then I realized the sudden disintegration of the window was a result of my ricocheting bullet. Fear shot through me as fast as that bullet. I did the only thing I could do: Duck down, crawl out of my room on my belly, and hope somehow that Sgt. Pruitt didn’t really see me. No such luck.






Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.

Christmas Dinner Guest

We had Christmas dinner yesterday about 4PM, and while my sister and her husband (along with my young nephew) couldn’t make it due to some sort of stomach virus going around, we did have an honored guest- my great uncle Raymond, along with my mom and dad, and my wife's sister, Jackie.

After dinner, and what will surely be a new tradition of watching “Elf”, I got the chance to sit with Raymond and ask him a few questions. He is a very private person- the sort that rarely talk about themselves. When they do, its only because you corner them, ask direct questions, and give them no escape route.

Raymond is about 85 years old, and spent most of his life on the sea. He was a US Merchant Marine until about 20 years ago, and was 19 years old when aboard a ship traveling from the US East Coast to England when he and his shipmates got word of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, and the German declaration of war the following day.

He spent his wartime years aboard Liberty Ships- massive cargo ships that the US was building at a rate of one per day during the war and using to supply our forces as well as those of our allies throughout the world. They traveled about 10 knots per hour, zig-zagging wherever they went in their only meager defense against enemy submarines.

Raymond told of the regular route his convoys took to avoid Nazi U-boats, leaving the Gulf of Mexico, rounding Florida and keeping close the North American coast all the way to Greenland, then East to Great Britain. The entire trip would last 10-15 days. He said the seas were so rough in the extreme North Atlantic that the convoys would sway up and down on the huge waves, sometimes gaining or losing 30 to 50 feet or more with each wave, making it hard for German torpedoes to hit them. It also made it hard to keep down food.

I asked him if he was scared back then, a young kid spending each day in the engine room deep below the ships surface, knowing an attack by a torpedo or a fighter plane could happen at any minute. He thought about it for a second and said “No. I was only 19 and felt invincible. Everyone was risking their lives, and you just didn’t think about those things much. You had a job to do.”

He recounted a couple convoy trips in particular. One to Murmansk in the Soviet Union to deliver supplies to the embattled Soviet Army. After putting into port and unloading, the crew had about 10 days to see the sights. He said there were only two buildings worth going to- one was the cinder block hotel and diner, the other the local watering hole. More accurately, the vodka drinking room. Everything else was boarded-up, shuttered or frozen. He also said the only people he saw in Murmansk were old people and women, and no one messed with any of the Murmansk women since they were about the same size and shape as the US Merchant Marine seaman.

Another convoy he mentioned went terribly wrong. The group of ships just ahead of Raymond's were attacked by a group of German subs, and several ships were sunk. Raymond watched as many men were killed by torpedo blasts or drowned quickly in the freezing North Atlantic sea.

I learned this morning, while researching the US Merchant Marines a bit, that their wartime record shows losses were among the highest of any group in the front lines during World War II. They died at a rate of 1 in 24, perishing on troubled waters and off enemy shores.






Click here if you would like to subscribe to the DigitalRichDaily
E-mail update. Place 'subscribe' in the subject line.