ABC Not-For-Families Channel

We have all but abandoned ABC Family Channel, though there might be a few old films and shows that run there we still catch, but its dangerous if you have young children.

The promotional spots they run for their newer trash programming are packed full of fun family sex, drugs, alcohol and rock-and-roll baby! Woo-hoo!

The tagline for their network says it all … “ABC Family… a new kind of family.”

As in, "we don’t want any of that stupid freedom-inhibiting namby-pamby, modesty, personal responsibility, restraint, purposefulness, careful consideration of friends and acquaintances crap."

"No way, man, we want SEX! Sex for all! And frat parties with lots of beer! Watch the new show GREEK! And check out The Secret Life of the American Teenager (Viewer Discretion Advised)! Yes, more sex and alcohol! Cool!"

These people at ABC Family are not only evil in their programming choices, they’re stupid and actually very out of touch. I caught a television ad for the DVD collection of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” and if you buy it now, ABC Family will throw in a free digital download of the new album by Jesse McCartney.

First of all, no self-respecting real American teenager would be caught dead near a physical CD, much less a digital version on their iPod, of Jesse McCartney. He’s so 2002.

Secondly, if an American teenager DID want a digital copy of Jesse McCartney, or any other artist, they’d just steal it from a peer-to-peer site or rip it from a friends CD. As if.

“ABC Family… a new kind of pandering degenerate channel. With stupid marketing ideas. Watch us! We’re sorta like MTV now, but with crappy music, shows and promotions.”