Plastic Poop Problems

Sometimes I wonder if my kids have lost their minds. Can children get so creative, so involved in play and the imaginary worlds they build, that they actually cross over into complete wackness?

And so begins the story of The Velveteen Poop Dog.

A couple years ago when R-girl was about 5 years old, we bought her a little plastic dog covered in that cheap velveteen material meant to feel somewhat like fur. It came with play food to give to the little pup that also ended up on the ground after the dog did it’s business.

It was a novel idea. You load the little food pellets into the dog’s mouth, and when an appropriate amount of time passes, you lift his little tail and the pellets, looking exactly the same as when you put them in, drop out the little dog’s rear end and hit the ground with little plops. Voilà. Dog poop.

Like most toys, it broke quickly, and little R-girl complained that her dog had diarrhea.

“What?” I asked.

“She has diarrhea… when you put the food in her mouth it comes out the butt right away.”

Apparently the lifting-tail mechanism had broken and now the food pellets made a quick trip from the dog mouth to popping out the dog butt in about ½ second, no digesting, no slowing down, no relaxing glass of wine to help the meal settle. Just- plop.

R-girl asked me if I could fix it but I couldn’t. It’s one of those non-serviceable toys (as in, you have to destroy it to get it open).

She came up with her own solution- a doggy diaper held tight with a pony-tail holder.