Two Thumbs Down For A Christmas Story

I realize what I’m writing here, about a movie treasured by millions, may cause great anger and resentment from most people that happen to read this. I get the feeling, based on comments I’ve heard, that the movie “A Christmas Story” is a treasured Christmas favorite that has touched the hearts and funny bones of millions of people, and to criticize it is akin to standing in the midst of a Code Pink rally with a “Support our Troops and Make Our Country Safer! Win the War on Terror!” sign.

I can’t stand it.

I don’t know how, or why, but I totally missed this film growing up. It came out in 1983 (I was a junior in high school), and I don’t remember a thing about it. Last Christmas, some 25 years after its release, my family was visiting my sister Carla and B-I-L Josh’s house for Christmas dinner. When my sister found out I hadn’t seen the movie (she was absolutely aghast. Not only had I not seen it, I had NEVER heard of it), she suggested we all watch it together.

And so the movie started, on their killer new giant HD TV. I awaited a magical Christmas movie experience that I assumed would rival classic holiday films like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” or “Miracle on 34th Street.”

30 minutes in and I started to check the news on my Blackberry. That’s a bad sign. I also read up on the film and how popular it was (checked IMDBPRO.com to see its StarRating, comments, etc. It did seem that millions LOVED this movie).

I endured it, if only to be able to say I had seen the whole thing, and I was left wondering why. That pretty much sums it up. Why. Why do people like this movie? Why was it considered such a classic? Why do people think it’s funny? I just don’t get it. Its no “Elf.”