Verbal Pet Peeves

It's not too uncommon to see a blogger unload with a top ten list of pet peeves. I've done it, I think, or at least I've piled on as a comment on someone else's post bellyaching about this or that.

I thought I would try a different tack: Verbal Pet Peeves- the things people say that drive me nuts.

I have no doubt if I googled this I would find other and perhaps better lists, but this is the best I can do on a Blackberry sitting in the Cinncinnati airport shoving down two Auntie Anne's Nathan's pretzel dogs and a bottle of water in the few minutes I have between flights.

10. ...and soforth.
And what? Just say it already! Is life so short they don't have time to finish their sentence? And what if we're not following them and we have no idea what soforth is soforth? Hate it.

9. The powers that be.
Well, this one really drives me nuts. Its often used like this: "well, all I know is that the powers that be decided it will work this way and we just have to deal with it even if we know its wrong.". First of all, anyone that uses this phrase is giving you two gihugic clues: 1) they have no idea whatsover how and why things work. 2) They don't know who the powers are, what their names and titles are, what they do or why they do it. Run from people that use this phrase. They are stupid and usually dangerous.

8. This won't hurt much at all.
This is what my dentist says. It is a very clear indication that I am about to experience great pain.

7. So and so.
USE THE NICE PERSON'S NAME already, geesh.

6. Whatnot.
What in God's green earth does this mean? Who came up with this nonsense word? When I hear someone say this I see an imaginary dunce cap affixed to their head with super glue.

5. Oh Snap.
This is a very trendy (at least it was in 2003 or so) word made popular by Raven (inane character on a Disney Channel show) to ostensibly substitute for the always lovely and poetic profanity "Oh S**t."

4. The seven forbidden words.
I hear people having otherwise completely normal conversations about their day, their work, family, football game, mowing the lawn and whatnot, laced and sometimes brimming with the most obnoxious language imaginable. I was in the airport with my wife and four girls last week and as we waited in line to check our bags the guy in front of us dropped his bag by accident and said rather loudly "fu**!" Then he saw me and my family, and the look on my face, and he appologized. Rather poorly though. He said "oh, goddammit, sorry about the language sir." At least he was sincere.

3. Let me make this perfectly clear.
This is usually uttered by blow hard politicians that think we are so stupid we didn't understand them the previous 7 times they told us the exact same thing.

2. To make a long story short.
When this is said, every single time, without fail, its far too late.

And last but not least, my number 1 verbal pet peeve:

1. To tell the truth/To be honest/Honestly (or any of the other variations).
When someone says this what they are really saying is they are often not being honest or open in their communication. It amazes me, but the people that say this actually don't even realize they say it and that it clues us all in that much of the time what they say is not complete, honest or truthful.

So there you go. Honestly, I could have come up with a dozen more but the powers that be are telling me to turn off my phone. Oh snap, I really wanted to get this plus a few emails done befopre take-off. Dammit.

Sorry for any typos. Regular problem for me when typing on my Blackberry.